Used to Tell People the Application Was Straightforward

Quit a rental brokerage in Manhattan because I couldn’t stand another summer telling people a bedroom fit a queen when the door wouldn’t open with one in it.

Got a salaried job. Normal hours. Told everyone I was done making money off desperate people. Then my roommate moved in with her boyfriend and I needed a cheaper apartment.

found one through a guy from my old office. told him what i made. he did the little inhale. i KNOW that inhale. i taught him that inhale.

he said the owner might be flexible if i could show some additional assets. i said you sat next to me for 2 years. what assets.

Ended up asking my dad to guarantee it. I'm 31. Dad sent his tax return as 19 individual photos, some upside down, and my old coworker forwarded them back asking if I could “consolidate for ownership.”

Called him. Said come on man it's me.

He said he knew but the owner needed a PDF.

Worst part was my dad calling to ask if this was normal. The documents, the bank statements, all of it. Said it felt invasive.

I told him it was standard and then said we needed to get it in tonight because there apparently another applicant.